Why Autistic People Hide Their Traits - and Why It Hurts

By Sara Marin

When we talk about autism, we often focus on differences in communication or social abilities. But a growing number of autistic people say something else shapes their daily lives even more: the pressure to “fit in.” A new 2025 psychology paper explains how and why many autistic individuals learn to hide their traits, and the high personal cost this brings. 

This behaviour is known as social camouflaging. It includes masking or covering autistic traits to appear more typical to the people around them. Autistic youth may force eye contact, copy gestures, rehearse conversations in advance, or hide sensory discomfort. They often learn these behaviours in childhood because the world expects them to behave a certain way.

Why Camouflaging Appears Helpful at First

According to the study, society tends to reward behaviours that look “normal.” Teachers, peers, and adults often respond positively when autistic children appear more socially typical. Research reviewed in the article shows that autistic adolescents who camouflage more are often rated as more likable by neurotypical peers.

For some individuals, this helps them avoid bullying, form friendships, or meet social expectations. On the surface, camouflaging seems to help them succeed socially.

But the Inner Cost Is Serious

While camouflaging works externally, the internal impact can be damaging. The article explains that hiding one’s real traits every day is emotionally and mentally exhausting. Many autistic young people report feeling disconnected from their true identity. They describe not knowing who they really are because so much of their behaviour is adjusted to meet external expectations.

Research summarized in the paper links camouflaging to:

• higher stress

• increased anxiety

• depression

• loneliness

• burnout

• and, in some cases, suicidal thoughts

These outcomes occur because people respond to the mask, not the person underneath. The autistic individual’s real needs remain unseen and unmet.

A Mismatch Between the Person and Their Environment

The authors use a psychological idea called person–environment fit. Normally, a good fit happens when a person’s traits and their surroundings work together and adjust to each other.

But camouflaging interrupts this process.
Instead of expressing genuine traits, autistic individuals express traits shaped by social pressure. The environment then adapts to the inauthentic traits, not the real ones. Over time, this disconnect can harm mental wellbeing and identity development.

What Needs to Change

The authors argue that instead of expecting autistic people to change themselves to fit their environment, the environment should adapt to them. This includes:

• adjusting teaching and communication styles

• educating peers about autistic communication

• reducing unrealistic social expectations

• supporting autonomy and self-determination

Camouflaging is not always fully negative or fully positive. It may help autistic individuals navigate the social world, but using it constantly can harm emotional health. The real solution is creating spaces where autistic people do not feel pressured to hide who they are.